- Title: CF347
BW, 1920s Buster Keaton
Old Father Time sits at table with scythe.
The Stone Age. Woman in leopard skin dress leans against rock, men with hairy mammoth walk to camera, man on elephant shouts orders.
Man whips dinosaur on which he is sitting and it moves off, man jumps off elephant when he sees woman, man in bear skin stands on dinosaur's head and looks into distance, he jumps off and picks flowers.
Big man in tiger skin prods cave woman and pulls her away. Man in bear skin pulls her back to him. The two men argue, woman's mother and father pull her away from the cave men.
Father cave man hits the big man over the head with a club, he stands firm but when father hits little cave man on head with club he falls over.
Wise woman with ouija table. Little cave man hands his card which is a rock with a cave drawing of a man, woman puts tortoise on table to tell man's future but it bites him.
Ancient Rome. Vs city street, gladiators guard doorway, man out and into chariot, small man out of doorway and looks at his watch, cu huge watch with Roman numerals, chariot pulled by donkeys and mules, cu sign reading non postum exit and then no parking, gladiator orders man to move chariot, man takes helmet off and uses it as clamp for chariot.
Man courting woman when little man interrupts them, man / father sends little man away / points.
Man visits soothsayer / wise man and rolls dice, group of men carrying bed / litter join what they think is a game of dice, cu dice with Roman numerals.
The Present Age (1920s)
Woman looks out of window, two cars along, man makes faces at little man, little man's car goes over bump and collapses. He stands holding steering wheel in his hand.
Man gives gift to woman, little man into house and tells other man he is wanted on the telephone, little man courts woman, man chats to woman on sofa while little man sits next to them - gooseberry. Man / father shakes man's hand and ignores little man, man / father looks scared of stern looking woman / wife. Stern woman looks in man's bank book stamped First National Bank. Little man hands her his bank book stamped Last National Bank. She looks outraged and talks to other man. Butler hands little man his hat and he leaves, he plucks petals off daisy - she loves me, she loves me not, cu wasp on daisy which stings him, he is angry and sucks his finger.
Cave man throws rock at woman and it hits her head, big man hugs woman in fur dress, little cave man lies next to woman on rock, big cave man drags woman away by her hair, little cave man pulls woman's hair and she angrily stands up and towers over him.
Woman hits little cave man with club and he falls into water.
Man serenades woman under her balcony with lyre. Man with woman throws pot onto serenading man's head.
Woman flirts with man in street then does judo/wrestling throws on him.
Dinner dance, man and woman at table, man sneakily pours booze from hip flask into bottle of water, little man drinks it, looks mystified at glass, drinks more and gets drunk. Little man and woman sit together, she powders her nose and reapplies make up then he shaves at the table, woman's man friend returns and throws little man off table.
Man kisses cave woman's hand. Big man stands on little man and they arrange a fight.
Little cave man dictates letter to woman who chips letters into stone block - great for communication, fax, letter, correspondence -
Man take clubs and begin to fight, little man lands on his bottom then knocks big man out, big man finds rock concealed in club and has little man tied to elephants tail and dragged away.
Sage / wise man writes weather forecast on board - fair and warmer - then goes outside where it is snowing and changes board to read snow.
Man find little man comforting his girlfriend and challenges him to a chariot race.
Man holds his head in his hands and then thinks, takes wheels off chariot and replaces them with skis, has an idea look on his face.
Roman amphitheatre with crowds, emperor gives signal for race to begin, little man turns up in sled pulled by huskies, woman blows kiss, chariot race, man replaces husky with sore foot with fit dog.
Good shot of chariot, huskies chase cat that man throws in amphitheatre, little man puts cat on a pole and dangles in front of dogs to make them run faster, man complains to emperor who makes the thumbs down gesture.
Little man falls into pit with lion (man in lion suit).
Man into undertaking parlour, American football game, spectators, little man lies injured on ground, changing room, big man hides bottle of booze in little man's coat pocket and reports to policeman who finds bottle.
Elephant pulls man along attached to tail, man is pricked by cactus, man washes himself in puddle, little man pulls cave girl up onto rock and they run away, little man pushes rocks onto other men and they throw them back, make catapults out of trees, rock fight, man throws rock and little man hits it with club like baseball.
Little man catapulted from tree, woman is pulled along by hair, she smiles!
Little man gives manicure to lion, lion admires his claws and they shake hands.
Man carries woman into his home - she is kicking.
Little man pulled out of lion's den by woman's parents, guards then hold them back but little man kicks guard into lion's den and rushes to save woman.
Little man runs into guard with sword which buckles on his shield.
Little man pole vaults onto horse's back and then into palace where big man is trapped under falling masonry. He escapes with woman.
Police station. Little man takes photograph out of filing cabinet which shows other man to be bigamist forger.
Man uses telephone box which keeps moving.
Man hauled before judge, man on telephone, steps out of telephone box and falls out of back of truck, man runs up fire escape followed by policeman.
Woman has wedding dress fitted, groom puts on top hat.
Man bounces on diving board on top of building and dives to next building but misses and slides through a series of window canopies on way down and then is flicked inside building. Fire engines called to LA police station where smoke is pouring out.
Bride out of car, kneels at altar with groom when little man pulls her away, the congregation watch with astonishment, couple into car, little man shows woman photograph of other man, the bigamist and she looks sad. She beckons to him and kisses him, they get back into car.
Intertitle: Let's go back to the church.
Little cave man motions to his wife who comes out of their care followed by a whole tribe of children dressed in leopard skin.
Little man down steps and holds out hand to his wife and their five children all dressed in togas.
Little man, woman and their little dog leave their house and walk down street.
- Keywords:SLAPSTICK, NEANDERTHAL, STONE AGE, ROMAN, STUNTS, MARRIAGE, LOVE RIVAL, JEALOUSY, PHYSICAL COMEDY, COMPARISON.
- Master Title:CF347